How to Make a Martyr


1 Hot Mess Country

1 Drop of Hate

1 Drop of Love


*Split the country into two groups. Don’t worry about them being completely equal, they never will be, you’ll just make yourself crazy.

*Now put a drop of hate in one bowl and whisk it up into a nice froth. Hate does well in a nice thick froth.

*Now put a drop of love in the other bowl. Fold it in gently, with a steady hand. Don’t try to rush it because then it’ll become dense. It will fold in on itself to protect itself becoming tough and impermeable.

*Now mix those bowls together. Don’t worry you will see hate start to take over. Don’t worry. Once it has completely taken over, you’ll start to see a pulsing spot towards the middle. That’s where the Martyr starts to grow. It will feed off the hate and turn it into love. Hate will then slowly die out, not completely but enough for Love to take the majority.

*In the end everything will be sweet. If you forget the Martyr for too long then Hate will start to take over again.


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